#MoreThanAMutha is all about celebrating the things that women are, as well as being amazing mothers. In a world where many women feel like they lose their identity when they become a mum, it is important to celebrate and shout that we might be mums, but we are not only that and we are still a force to be reckoned with.
What makes you more than a mother?
Everything! I think just being a unique human being and having one’s own identity is enough to make us more than ‘just a mum’ or ‘somebody’s mum’. But, aside from being a mother, I also run my own business and I’m self-employed, giving me something more to focus on than just being a mum each day. There’s nothing wrong if you do want to mum all day, but for me I needed something more, something just for me and a project to work on.
Are people surprised when they realise you are more than a mum? Does that bother you?
Sometimes I think they are. As I work from home a lot of people assume I don’t have a job or work, so I think they’re surprised when I suddenly talk about working. I still think some people assume I do nothing, like family members or neighbours. I’m certain they think I just lounge around the house all day when the kids are in childcare, but that’s far from the truth.
What challenges do you face when you’re juggling motherhood and being more than a mum?
So many. Trying to separate work and home life and allow set hours for working. It’s really difficult. I don’t have full time childcare yet so I often have to work in the evening or even when the children are here to be able to complete deadlines. It’s not ideal, but I hope for a better balance when both the kids are in full time education. I also worry others judge me. They think why am I putting my children in care if I’m home all day? Because I’m working! I feel more judged than when I went out to an employed job, but it could all be in my head.
How long did it take you to remember you were more than a mother after you had your child(ren)?
I started a business when on maternity leave, just a few months in, so this was pretty instant for me to have my own passion. But for feeling like myself and realising I could have a bit of my own life and go out with friends or for a walk all day in the countryside kid free? That took a few years and I still feel guilty when I do it.
Who, or what, helps you to make time for yourself? What do you do to escape the stresses of motherhood?
I go for a long walk every few months with a good friend. We disappear into the remote countryside and up hills. Somewhere there are no other humans and just us. We walk and talk for hours and it really refreshes me.
What advice would you offer a mum who might not be feeling like they are more than someones mum right now?
Find a hobby or something you feel passionate about so you have an interest other than the children. Remember you are a person and it’s OK to have your own time and indulge yourself once in a while. Find other grown ups to talk to so you’re not in baby/kid mode constantly!
Any advice for someone who is going through the same things as you are right now in their quest to be #MoreThanAMutha?
Don’t feel guilty, you are entitled to be more than a mother! I need to follow this advice. A happy mum will have happy kids. Do what’s right for you and your family. Follow your dreams and if you want to you can be your own boss!
Are you #MoreThanAMutha? Get in touch to share your story.