#MoreThanAMutha is all about celebrating the things that women are, as well as being amazing mothers. In a world where many women feel like they lose their identity when they become a mum, it is important to celebrate and shout that we might be mums, but we are not only that and we are still a force to be reckoned with.
What makes you more than a mother?
I am more than a mutha because I am a mother to fifteen children I never had the chance to hold, and a son who was stillborn at full term.
Because of those losses, I live every single day with the heavy weight of loss, all whilst trying to raise four rainbows, and campaign for changes to antenatal care so that fewer women experience the devastation of baby loss.
Are people surprised when they realise you are more than a mum? Does that bother you?
People are often surprised to hear about our losses, particularly having lost 15 babies to miscarriage. I guess for most people, that’s unheard of. I have found people feel quite uncomfortable when I speak about losing our son, Joseph, and that does bother me as I suppose, just like all Mums, I am very proud of my little boy.
What challenges do you face when you’re juggling motherhood and being more than a mum?
I find it very hard to navigate parenting my living children with bearing the heavy weight of grief. It’s something I have struggled with a lot over the last 12 years and yet starting a blog to raise awareness and share our rainbows has been a huge help.
Juggling four children with my blog is hard work, I struggle to find enough hours in the day, and yet I am spurred on by the positive feed back I receive and those who reach out to tell me that my story has helped then or even changed the outcome of their own.
How long did it take you to remember you were more than a mother after you had your child(ren)?
It took me a long time to remember who I was as a person after having my children. My eldest is 14 this spring and I dedicated over a decade to being at home each day and putting my children’s needs before my own. It’s only in the last couple of years I have realised that focusing in my own dreams is still so important, and I feel as though I am a better Mother for doing that.
Who, or what, helps you to make time for yourself? What do you do to escape the stresses of motherhood?
My husband is very good at taking over when he comes home from work so I can go and grab a shower or escape to read a little of a book.
I also have very supportive parents who help out when they can and allow my husband and I to have a little time together too.
What advice would you offer a mum who might not be feeling like they are more than someones mum right now?
I would tell them that anything is possible, that although its hard in those early days when the children are so demanding and dependent, there will come a time when you can claw back a little time for yourself. Just hang on in there.
Any advice for someone who is going through the same things as you are right now in their quest to be #MoreThanAMutha?
For those dealing with baby loss and campaigning to raise awareness of this, I would give them that they are doing a wonderful thing.
I think the only way to survive the devastation of losing a child is to try and find a positive amongst so much sadness. For me that positive is that I can use my own experience to strive to help those going through the same, or educate others about the importance of antenatal care and knowing what is normal in terms of movements and counting kicks.
Are you #MoreThanAMutha? Get in touch to share your story.