#MoreThanAMutha is all about celebrating the things that women are, as well as being amazing mothers. In a world where many women feel like they lose their identity when they become a mum, it is important to celebrate and shout that we might be mums, but we are not only that and we are still a force to be reckoned with.
What makes you more than a mother?
I’m mum to Maz who is 11 and Karma who is 8 years old and wife to Hisham.
I am a full time carer to Karma who was born with a very rare genetic syndrome called (Duplication 22q12q13) making her number 7 in the world with her condition. Due to her condition she has complex medical and physical needs and requires 24/7 care.
I also own Tubie Kids which is a clothing brand for children who have feeding tubes. Our daughter is the inspiration behind our adaptive range as she has been tube fed since she was 3 months old.
Are people surprised when they realise you are more than a mum? Does that bother you?
I like to have my own identity and not just be known as mum. I also like to be a role model for my kids and to show them that no matter how difficult things get you can still face your hurdles, work hard and dream big!However, what does bother me is when people say hats off to you, I don’t know how you cope or manage with a complex medical child.Actually you don’t have a choice! you have to get on with it even if you are hanging by a thin thread! You would do anything for your children whatever the situation is. Its human nature and no I would not change a thing!
What challenges do you face when you’re juggling motherhood and being more than a mutha? (childcare, judgements of others, time etc)
After having Karma, finding flexible work to fit around her needs, appointments and prolonged hospital stays was not easy. Finding the right people to babysit her was even harder!
I can only work and sort everything in the house when my children are at school. School is my only child care if I am honest! After school hours are spent with the kids.
So the biggest challenge I would probably say is there is no rest for the wicked and never enough time!
How long did it take you to remember you were more than a mother after you had your child(ren)?
It took quite a while as we had a tough few years spending more time in hospital than at home so Karma’s health was top priority. Maz also suffered attachment issues as mummy was spending long hours in hospital and had to ensure that he was in a good place mentally as well.
I knew at some point I would like to have my own business to get that flexibility that I needed but just could not think what. My previous career ( advertising and social media marketing) required a lot of hours and quite frankly I needed a fresh of breath air.
I was brain dead! At one point I thought i’d lost my creative touch! Its a vicious circle because you feel lost and start asking yourself who am? What am I good at? Am i confident enough to jump the wagon again.
You get a lot of self doubt because you can easily forget that you are more than just a mum.
Then one afternoon i thought why not look in to adaptive clothing for Karma and for kids like herself. Started researching and planning it all out and here I am in our first year of business!
Who, or what, helps you to make time for yourself? What do you do to escape the stresses of motherhood?
My mum has only just retired so I have not had much help around me.
Yoga and Spinning classes are my me time and help release daily stress and maintain wellbeing.
What advice would you offer a mum who might not be feeling like they are more than someones mum right now?
Being a mum is one of the hardest jobs in the world. If fact i think going to work is far easier than being a stay at home mum with little ones!
Just remember, in your children’s eyes you are the world to them and not just their mum!
One day if you really did want to do something on the side, the idea will come to you when you least expect it and when the time is right for you.
Any advice for someone who is going through the same things as you are right now in their quest to be #MoreThanAMutha?
Go into something you enjoy and love. It may be a hobby at the moment and start from there. Allocate time to start learning more about it.
I also recommend watching “The Secret” – the full episode can be found on YouTube. Its a great way to start getting in to the mindset of ‘I can and I will’.
Are you #MoreThanAMutha? Get in touch to share your story.