#MoreThanAMutha is all about celebrating the things that women are, as well as being amazing mothers. In a world where many women feel like they lose their identity when they become a mum, it is important to celebrate and shout that we might be mums, but we are not only that and we are still a force to be reckoned with.
What makes you more than a mother?
I didn’t ever think I’d have the confidence to start my own business, and in a way motherhood gave me that boost to go for it, so I owe a lot to it. I’m also very proud of my social aim, to raise as much awareness of perinatal mental health issues as I can. This is really important to me as I suffered with PND following my second child, and didn’t realise I had it for far too long. This is also the reason £1 from every one of our new mum hampers sold goes to the charity PANDAS Foundation. My proudest achievements are getting through those first crazy years of motherhood with 2 under 2 (nearly 2 under 1!) and setting up Mums Back as both of these accomplishments have pushed and tested me like I’ve never known before!
Are people surprised when they realise you are more than a mum? Does that bother you?
I don’t think so. I mean, generally I expect people are way more than mummies when I meet them and I hope others feel the same about me. I think everyone, no matter how they define themselves, are multifaceted. Having said that, because of how all consuming being a mum/parent is at first I think it’s really easy to fall into the trap of feeling like that’s ALL we are once we procreate, and it takes a while to persuade ourselves we are much much more….but I don’t think others are surprised by it, it’s more a fault of ourselves!
It doesn’t really bother me. What bothers me is how undervalued the role of mummy/parent is in our society. I really think it deserves more credit. Perhaps if it was valued more then people wouldn’t feel so sad and under appreciated when they feel so consumed by it as a role. It’s bloody tough!
What challenges do you face when you’re juggling motherhood and being more than a mum?
How long did it take you to remember you were more than a mother after you had your child(ren)?
Who, or what, helps you to make time for yourself? What do you do to escape the stresses of motherhood?
Definitely the business. In a way it helped cure me of PND. I know that sounds a little extreme but it’s true. I was really craving doing something different and adult like again, and having that focus on something that felt productive (other than bringing up and taking care of 2 tiny humans) really helped my mental health. It still does to a certain extent. But I have to be careful and wary of burn out. I tend to escape the work and relentlessness of motherhood by turning to the business, and the craziness of the business by turning to motherhood (both usually by necessity too), and this is a dangerous game. I have to watch it and remember to try and have down time. Usually a bubble bath and a session with Netflix. What I really love is a spa day and a few drinkies with the girls if I can do it, but that’s a fairly rare occurrence these days!
What advice would you offer a mum who might not be feeling like they are more than someones mum right now?
Any advice for someone who is going through the same things as you are right now in their quest to be #MoreThanAMutha?
That’s a tough one, because I’ll probably be dishing out advice I don’t follow myself, ha! I truly do strive to stop comparing. I think comparisonitus is the bane of our lives as mums in this world of social media. It’s very easy to believe so and so has it so good, or that they are popular and gorgeous and holding it all together amazingly. But really? That’s probably bullshit. We are all losing our shit behind the scenes!
Are you #MoreThanAMutha? Get in touch to share your story.