#MoreThanAMutha is all about celebrating the things that women are, as well as being amazing mothers. In a world where many women feel like they lose their identity when they become a mum, it is important to celebrate and shout that we might be mums, but we are not only that and we are still a force to be reckoned with.
What makes you more than a mother?
I’m a full time Mum to two boys with another on his way and I also run a small business. I’m a family candid photographer
which aside from the hours of capturing and photoshopping images involves lots of hard work that most people don’t see; networking, marketing, blogging & web design (and more).
Life is definitely busy but having my babies and having my own business were the two best decisions I ever made so I make it work. I feel like I am always doing something worthwhile, which is something I felt was really lacking when I was working full time for someone else in a company that didn’t share my values.
Are people surprised when they realise you are more than a mum? Does that bother you?
I find most people aren’t surprised when a woman manages to fit in other jobs besides being a mummy. To be honest, I get more surprised looks when I say I’m expecting another child.
What challenges do you face when you’re juggling motherhood and being more than a mutha? (childcare, judgements of others, time etc)
It can be a challenge to know what the ‘right’ thing to do is….whatever that is. There is this expectation that you must carry on and be amazing. I have learned that you can’t do it all and be this perfect being. It starts with accepting that you are only human and you can only do what you can. So I try… by being kind to myself, I get organised and I find having lists and plan-of-action’s help. I’m an old-fashioned mum with everything I need to keep sane on post-its glued to my computer. A desk calendar with daily tasks or marketing goals also helps with the business.
How long did it take you to remember you were more than a mother after you had your child(ren)?
Gosh! It was not easy, especially first time around. No one ever mentioned what really happens after birth. From the minute the baby is born you have to do the ‘John Wayne’ walk to the bathroom, then use the glamorous adult nappies and how difficult is to have that first first pee! Then comes the struggle to breastfeed. For those recovering from a cesarean, the physical side effects are massive too.
For me and after having my first child, it took me about 9 months, second time around was half the time mainly because I had a toddler to look after.
Who, or what, helps you to make time for yourself? What do you do to escape the stresses of motherhood?
Talking helps! Taking deep breaths and staring at the sea. We moved to Worthing from London after our second child was born and it has really improved my sense of well being. Day to day its remembering to do the little things I like, making afresh coffee, baking a cake or writing down my thoughts and ideas helps me unwind.
What advice would you offer a mum who might not be feeling like they are more than someones mum right now?
It’s ok to not feel ok. Talk to someone you trust, seek help. You are not alone even though you may feel like that. Take it slow, you can do this.
Any advice for someone who is going through the same things as you are right now in their quest to be #MoreThanAMutha?
Follow your heart, trust your instinct.
Ana Bohane Photography
Are you #MoreThanAMutha? Get in touch to share your story.